WHAT WAS I THINKING

I had such good intentions! I woke up this morning to the smell of  homemade muffins. I restained myself knowing that I was going to be going to the movies today with one of my wonderful daughters. I love movie theaterpopcorn, so I was planning ahead, and didn't eat any muffins.

I kept putting off going to the gym, making excuse after excuse. I really had no good reason. I even wanted to work out. I just didn't want to go. As I look back at today I am kinda mad at myself for not just doing it first thing.

I did good for lunch and ate a 6 inch of a footlong Subway sandwich. Then I went to the movies and my daugher REALLY wanted butter on it. Because I am such a wonderful mother I "sacrificed" my popcorn to butter. And yes I ate tons. After the movies I called home and my husband informed me that THE GIRL SCOUT COOKIES WERE HERE!

Why did I ever order them? How dumb is that? I was even doing weight watchers when I ordered them. Well long story short. I ate 6 of them. I feel super guilty. Not just because I ate six, but because I will probably eat more. I know what you are thinking. Don't, throw them away. But I can't, well im not willing to. I am going to try and rashen them. I need to put a plan in place. This is my plan. No more then six a day. No more tonight.

Note to myself. DO NOT BUY GIRLSCOUT COOKIES AT WAL-MART THIS YEAR!

DON'T EAT OTHER'S FOOD!

I have missed my friends lately. It seems like everyone is so busy living their lives. So a couple of days ago we all agreed to meet today for lunch. I was willing to sacrafice my dinner points to go out with them and have a great well deserved time.

We went to a nice little diner type place names Smashburgers. It was very good and I ordered pretty healthy. Chicken sandwich without all the sauce, fries (this was the bad part), and a water. It didn't go bad until I lost control when I was done. You ask "what  could go wrong after you are done?". You are probably thinking she got dessert. Nope! I started to eat one of my friend's daughter fries (with her mom's okay). How dumb was that?

I need to stay away from restaurants right now. I learned today that I do not have the self control that I thought, or wished that I had. Lessons I learned today: Gain better self control. Don't eat others food. Don't use all my points on one meal.

On a happier note. I did go to the gym again today. I was real tired. I wanted to try the treadmill, but they were full the whole time. Tomorrow is a new day! Bring it on!

I'M COOL!

One thing I really like about working out is my calves. I love it when I shave my legs and there is some muscle there not just flab. This sounds a little weird, but I am a calves girl. I love it when my husband is in shorts, because I can look at his calves. I just didn't know it applied to me also until recently.

Not long ago I went to the Chryropractor and he was telling me that my calves were to tight. I was a little confused because I didn't know they could be "too tight". He explained that that was part of why my back and neck were hurting so bad. He gave me some stretches to do and I have been doing them faithfully. And he was right. If they hurt they are too tight. Now I am much more relaxed.

I went to the gym today in my new shoes. It was better because I couldn't feel the little bumps under my feet (threw my shoes). My teenagers have also commented that my shoes are "nice enough, that I would even wear them." Well I know that this is quite a complament. My feet still went a little numb, but not as bad. I guess I will see how it continues to go.

ONE DAY TO BE BOMBED!

This morning when everyone went to school, I went back to bed. I don't get to do this as often as I would like too, but I did today. I have noticed that there is usually one day a week that I am physically bombed. Today was that day!

I did pretty good about eating healthy. Somehow I forgot to restock fresh veggies. I really like to snack on them, and tonight I was missing them. So what did I do? I ran up and got some. I didn't get the best prices on them, but I figured it was worth it this time. I also ran into a great friend who said she over bought on carrots, and she said I could come to her house and get some. How's that for cheap?

I didn't make it to the gym today. Between sleeping in and my busy schedule today I just didn't make it. I actually felt sad about it all day. I kept thinking "I have 30 minutes right now. I could be at the gym", but as we all know when you go to the gym you really should shower afterwards, and I didn't have time for that too. So I will go tomorrow and try out my new shoes.

1.8 LBS LOSS = 15 LBS LOSS

Every week when I go weigh in I am so nervous. The whole time I am driving there I am praying, because I am a religious person, that somehow I did something right this week. My mind goes a million miles an hour.

Did I work out enough? Did I eat the right amount of food? I shouldn't have eatten those M&M's. I hate that I love chips (salt), etc...

Then I have to counter it by remembering that I really do enjoy working out  (even if the firefighters aren't there).

Today I biked for 45 minutes. I really enjoy biking. I have even thought about buying a bike to ride outside with my kids. Butt (LOL), I know my butt is huge and I don't want everyone driving by me to be thinking sick thoughts. Wondering why someone would be embarrasing themselves by trying to fit on those seats. Do all bikes still have banana seats? I remember when I was little and I got this cool bike with a banana seat. But now day's if I tried to ride one like that I think the seat would look lost. I just can't do that to myself, the people in the cars drivng by, or a bike right now. Maybe when I get smaller.

I also did the elliptical for 15 minutes. My feet did start to get tingley, but did not go numb. I feel so good about myself after I work out. My face is bright red and I look like I might pass out, but I do like it.

I then came home and and decided to cancel my dr. appointment until after I get a pair of shoes and see if that fixes the problem. Then after a nice hot shower, which I don't usually take a hot shower but it was freezing outside, I went to weight in. I LOST 1.8 LBS. THIS MAKES A TOTAL OF 15 LBS. Yippy, a loss!!!

Then I went and found a pair of shinny silver tennis shoes. Silver is not a color I would have normally picked out, but that is all they had in size 9! What is with that? Stores need to have a larger supply of size 9 shoes. What is this all about? Did everyone who is a size 9 go shoe shopping in the last 2 weeks? Well if so, I hope they got some nice shoes, because I know I did (even if they are silver).

NO TREADMILL TODAY

My feet have been either tingly (is that how you spell it?) or sore all weekend. I decided that when I went to the gym to not walk on the treadmill. That is usually when my feel hurt the most. I worked out for 1 hr. and felt much better. My feet didn't hurt as bad. It must have worked. Well for a bit.

I also thought 'maybe it is my shoes'. So I went to Shopko to get my shoes that are WIDE sized and don't hurt my arch. I was thinking that maybe that is why they are hurting. I know worn out shoes can do that. This is the first time that I have gone there that they didn't have my size. I have big feet. They shouldn't have ran out of size 9 shoes. I guess tomorrow I will go check out some other places. I know I need new shoes.

I also set up a Dr. appointment just in case it is something more serious. I do get a little paranoid about things. I convince myself that if I don't go see the Dr. then nothing is wrong. Well as long as he doesn't say that they need to cut off  my feet, I guess I will be okay.

WORKING OUT

About a month ago I was biking and I noticed that the guy next to me stunk so bad! It was so bad that I could taste it. And believe me, it didn't taste good. I don't usually smell other people when I am there. But it was BAD. It wasn't until about a couple of weeks later that I was tortured with that smell again. It wasn't the same person. Matter of fact it was a lady this time. I just have a hard time believing that a "lady" could smell that bad. It was so bad that I had to move to another bike.

Sometimes when I walk threw the front door I notice a smell, but I just chalk it up to, "good for these people for working out." Most of the time I don't even notice it.

Today when I went to the gym, once again I was on the bikes, and I could smell the person next to me. I don't know why I always smell it when I am biking. The treadmills are on a higher level and I know that heat rises. So why am I smelling it down there? Also the treadmill people are sweating a lot more then us bikers. I was thinking, "keep your smell to yourself. Isn't there something you can do to keep the smell to yourself." Of course it could be that they can't even smell themselves.

After biking I went to the weight room. I was doing some leg lifts and I realize how judgmental I just had been. The reason I realized this is because I could still smell that smell. And no one was even close to me. IT WAS ME! I STINK, AND I STINK BAD. I hope everyone that was biking next to me didn't smell me!!! After I realized this I couldn't even finish working out. I needed to go home immediately and shower. I can't believe I could smell that bad!

I guess I need to use my deodorant more before I go to the gym. Lesson learned (I hope this works). Don't worry, I smell better now, well until Monday when I go to the gym again.

PARKING FAR AWAY?!

Why do I try to park as close as possible to the front door when I go to the gym? Does it really matter if I burn a few extra calories? Isn't that why I am going? In the past I have gone to the gym when the parking lot is full and it really bothers me that I have to park across the street. This is completly stupid! So I made a resolution to not try to park as close at possible, but just when I see an open parking spot. I have been doing this at the grocery store too. I don't know that it helps me be skinnier, but I know it doesn't hurt me. It also helps me not to be so irritated with the people who got the closest parking spot. This has helped me to have less stress in my life (small amounts, but diffinately less).

Speaking of grocery stores, did you know they have Easter candy out now? This is bad for me. My favorite holiday candy is the malted milk eggs. I have to admit I bought some today. I did not eat them all in one sitting like I usually do. I didn't even eat 1/4 of the bag. This is an improvement for me. I can't wait until they are all gone, that way I won't hear them tempting me. I really need to pull them out and invite everyone to come and eat them so they won't be here anymore. Tomorrow I will.

If you are on this journey (weight loss, not eatting Easter candy) with me and want to add any comments please do. I would love to know how you are doing too.

I have heard that it is good to eat before you work out, so I have been doing this for the last week. But I feel like I am dragging when I do. I think I will go back to not eatting first, or maybe something very minimal would work. Any suggestion?

THANK YOU!

I like to go to the gym and do a bit of weight lifting (very little), some treadmill, elliptical, and biking too.

When I go on the treadmill or the elliptical my feet go numb after about 15 minutes. I have grown used to this, but today wasn't normal. I almost pulled a "biggest loser". By this I mean falling flat on my face and rolling off of the treadmill onto the floor because I couldn't pick up my feet. I tripped and stumbled, but luckily I didn't fall flat on my face.  I want to send a big thank you out to everyone who saw me do this and didn't burst out laughing. I don't know if I could have not laughed if I saw this happen. I don't' know why my feet go numb, but that might have been enough embarrassment to get me to the Dr. to see why.

Today was different in that my feet didn't just go numb, but they got to the point where they really started to hurt. I think it is time to invest in a new pair of shoes. The question is do I wait for them to go on sale? I tend to put this off for a while, but my feet have been reminding me all day that my shoes suck!

I also want to put a BIG thank you out to The Biggest Loser for making it OK for fat people to go to the gym. No one ever looks and me with the "your too fat to be doing this" look. I love that I am not the only fat person there trying to get healthier. I appreciate that people at our rec. center are friendly and kind. I have been places that are not like that. So, THANK YOU.

But my BIGGEST THANK YOU goes to the BUFF FIREFIGHTERS. There is nothing better then watching them as they lift weights. Not only are they amazing in all that they can do, but they are HOT! Thank you to all you wives, girlfriend, mother, etc. for sharing them with me, even if only for a short while.

I WILL GO TO THE GYM TOMORROW

I really wanted to go to the gym today, but you know how life goes. Laundry, bills, dishes, kids, fixing vacuums, computer games, and last but not least making after school snacks. Oh wait, parent teacher conference too.

First, I put laundry in. I have tons, but I know if I start early that I might get done today. I even remembered to put vinegar in with my new red shirt. My mom says that it helps to hold the color so it doesn't bleed (Is this an old wives tail too?)

Second I started out playing games on the computer. I don't know how or why but they can be so addicting. I always loose track of time when I am playing one. This is BAD HABIT #1.

Third, I decide that it is way past time to pay my bills. Then I will go to the gym. I am just grateful that it doesn't take as long as it did for my mom. I remember it taking hours for her. It probably still does. I love computers for more then just playing games I guess. I was actually pretty excited about paying bills. We have a car that is just about done being paid off. This is very exciting, especially since we don't even have the car anymore. LOL. Well at least I see a light at the end of the tunnel.

Fourth, I decided to vacuum my room. Well, I pulled out the vacuum and started to vacuum. I noticed that it had this funny sound to it. I keep vacuuming. Nothing was getting picked up. I wanted to pretend I was one of the kids and keep vacuuming (like I never noticed), but no, I decided to check it out. I look under it and of course the belt is broken and the brush isn't moving. "How many days or weeks has this been going on?" I think to myself. So, I go get the screwdriver and scissors because I can see hair wrapped around the brush.  It took me about 1/2 hour tearing all the hair and crap out. I think there was enough hair to make a dolls wig. We didn't even have another vacuum belt. I guess I need to go get several of those (so I can have some backups).

Fifth, I decided that I could go to the gym tonight when everyone else would be gone, so between doing more laundry, I jumped in the shower. One of my friends called and asked me to help with a couple of her kids after school. No problem. Oh crap, I have parent teacher conference for 4 girls tonight. No problem.

Sixth, I went and got vacuum bags. I had one of my girls help make cookies (mistake number ???) for after school snack. Boy did those cookies taste good. I NEED TO GO TO THE GYM!


I went to parent teacher conference and didn't have time to make a healthy dinner, so we got take out pizza. Boy did that taste good too. I REALLY NEED TO GO TO THE GYM!!

In the evening when things were quiet, my 10 year old says to me. "Mom, can we go get my coat now? I really want a skirt too. I will spend my allowance on it ($3.50). Oh I love how cute she is. I guess the gym will have to wait till tomorrow. We did find a cute jacket at Shopko. 80% off. I guess it helps to shop for coats this time of the year.

As I end my day, I go into the kitchen and grab the chips and salsa, sat down on the couch, and relaxed, glad for all I accomplished and the time I spend with my family. I even got all but one batch of laundry completed. I WILL MAKE IT TO THE GYM TOMORROW, and I will stay away from the chips and salsa.

ICE PACKS

It is so hard to get started after getting to sleep in for several days in a row (do I like holidays or not???). But I did!

I decided cereal sounded good (easy) for breakfast, which is ideal because I had NO energy. When I woke up my daughter I noticed that she was a little croupy (is that how you spell it?) I decided to go put some water on the stove to boil to help clear out her chest (Is this an old wives tale?) Well either way, as I was doing this my husband asked if I was making oatmeal. Oh yeah, as I was falling asleep last night I asked him to remind me to make oatmeal for breakfast because I need to get my whole grains in, and it tastes good (did you know fruit loops has whole grain too?). So I ate a pretty healthy breakfast this morning. I ate one helping and it gave me a tummy ache. I think it is the Satan trying to get me to not work out! But it feels good to know that I can get full from a small bowl of oatmeal.

Well I made it to the gym. Which I have grown to enjoy. I was on the treadmill and started thinking about when I began working out several years ago.

I remember the first time I went. I decided to ride the bikes. I rode it for 15 minutes and I truely thought I might DIE. After all, do you know how long that is? Well I decided to ride for 15 minutes a day, 5 days a week, for 2 weeks and then I would build on that. Thank goodness I have a great husband who let me use his ipod to watch movies on. That made it go a little faster, but I never realized that it would take so long to watch one movie. I also learned that movies aren't as fun if you are only watching 15 min. at a time.

More then how long it took to watch a movie. I never realized I would have to ice my knees and feet for so long. For about the first 3 monthes I iced my knees or my feet for at least 3 hours a day. I would be driving down the road with ice on my knees, trying to catch it before it feel to the floor if I went around a corner.
I know this sounds like I am streatching the truth, but no, it is real. I LOVE ICE PACKS!

Well today I weighed in. I lost 2.8 lbs. Which makes it a total of 13.2 lbs. Yippeeeeeeeeeeee!! As long as I am loosing and not gaining I am on the right track. I celebrated by going grocery shopping.

I know this sounds backwards, but I love to get deals. My best deal of the day was barbeque sauce. I got it at Smith's .69 cents for Krafts. I got 11 of them. I don't know why I picked 11, it just seemed like a good odd number.

Well back to working out. I now do not have to "ice" my knees or feet most of the time. But I alway have ice packs in the freezer ready for those days that I still need them. I truely believe that if you haven't been working out and you are going to start INVEST IN ICE PACKS!!!

STARTING POINT

I was thinking that I need to share my starting point.

About a month ago I was going shopping with my coupons at Smith's. I had gotten a few things that I needed and was going to go get some toothpaste (because I was getting it for .25 cents each). I was looking for the specific kind and I had to bend down to get it off of the shelf. I was feeling very confident and proud of myself for how well I was doing with saving $$$. I bent down to get it and the whole back of my pants ripped out. I am not kidding when I say the WHOLE BACK OF THEM!. I was bent over thinking, "did this just really happen to me in the middle of the grocery store?" I quickly look around to see who saw (because when this happens you know that someone saw). There was no one on the isle. I couldn't believe how lucky I had just gotten. My first thought was no one saw.

My next thought was "Holly Crap, now what". I then realized that I had my jacket on. Luckily I could just wrap it around my waist and go through  the check out. Which I was so grateful that I didn't have to leave my grocery basket and run out the door trying to cover my big butt up as I was casually (so not to bring attention to myself) walking out of the store.

My third thought was that I needed to go to Weight Watchers immediately. I had been thinking about it for some time, but kept putting it off. I decided if I left there, went to Walgreens (more coupons), went to D.I., then I could go directly to Weight Watchers because it was on the way. I didn't know if it would be open.  I thought about going home to change my pants before doing anything else, but I knew if I did that I might continue to find excuses.

So, after going into Walgreens' with my jacket around my waist, I went straight to sign up AGAIN. I had joined Weight Watchers previously a couple of years ago and I had done pretty good. I knew I could do it, but for how long?

I wish I had taken a picture of my split pants to put on here. That would have been a good laugh. Even the day that it happend I laughted about it. I think that this is a funny story! It still makes me smile Even though I do tell myself that the pants weren't really tight, but only worn out. Who know? I just know that they split really well!!!

I started out at 267 lbs and have lost 10 lbs in four weeks. I have gone from barely fitting into my size 26 pants to being able to zip them up. Good bye sweats, because I can now fit into my jeans again.  Well the ones that I didn't split open. Well I weigh in tomorrow, lets see how I do.

THIS IS ME

My name is Stephanie. I decided to start this to see if it will help motivate me. I am not well spoken and certainly not good at writing, but I am willing to try this. I am a 42 year old married woman. I have 3 of my own children, 5 foster children, and a wonderful husband.

Always, growing up, I thought I was fat. I remember being in high school and I fit into size 11 or 13 pants. This was back in the day when you had to lay down on your bed and suck in your gut just to get your pants zipped up. What I would give to be that "fat" now! Just thinking about it makes me want to laugh. I can just see myself laying on my bed, trying to zip up my pants. I bet my fat hung over the top of them. LOL

Right now I am in a size 26 pants and weigh 257 lbs. It is a little scary to post this where others can read it, but I need to do this. When I got married almost 17 yrs ago I weighted 180 lbs. I was worried that I was to fat then. Wow, I let things get out of control.

Not only that, but I stopped wearing makeup and no longer do much with my hair. I kinda don't care about the makeup anymore. It just costs extra money, and I have to take it off each night. Well this is what I tell myself. I guess I just don't think I am pretty anymore. Deep down I know I am so this is part of why I am blogging.

My husband and I are awful with $$$. We get out of debt then we get right back in. So I started doing "coupons"in December. When I say this I mean, we now get 6 newspapers each Sunday and I pull out all of the coupons and file them in a little portable file cabinet that I bought. Each one is dated and it say's what kind of coupon it is. Then I go onto grocerysmarts.com to find out what is on sale and use my coupons to, well it is basically buying food storage. Then we make our menu out of what we have in food storage. So far this is working out good, but I know I still have a lot to learn.

Well this is me. This is my first blog. Lets see how it all goes!